The Laughter
Joe has a rather funny laugh. Actually it was funny in the first year, kinda funny in the second year then not so funny in the third year. The reason behind this - well, he just seems to laugh at everything and nothing. It's gotten to the point where all I hear is laughing downstairs, when him and Carlo talk. I was kinda over it when me and Carlo talked, and I thought he would tell Joe what was going on. But I guess he hasn't. Or not yet anyway.
But it's come to the point where I just don't give a fuck anymore. I breathe in deeply and think (and say) I don't give a fuck. The guy can be weird with me all he wants. If he chooses not to understand me then fine. I can live with it. To be honest, he needs to open up his fucking eyes and learn to understand emotions. Perhaps the amount of alcohol he's intaken in the last few years has fucked him up allowing him not to feel.
I feel better today. Although it's not been a productive day - the illness has made me lazy. Yes that is a poor excuse, but do you blame me. Realised that tomorrow will be the first day I go back into uni after 10 days of not going...Has it been that long already?! Seems like months! But I'm on Easter break the week after and I'm gonna be doing my dissertation til it's dead and buried in the ground. And the two essays.
I'm sensing lots of late nights coming up now.
(1.07am edit)
Back in the day when me and Ashley were going out, we both kept diaries just to keep each other informed of what we were thinking and how we were feeling. Returning back to these tonight for a nostalgia trip, I've realised how much we've both grown up now. It was difficult for us, because, obviously, we lived so far away from each other and there were times were we couldn't talk (i.e I was getting drunk). Looking back, how times have changed ya know? We're both still here, still very much in love, but we're moving on in the relationship now. We talk about having kids together, living together, the pets we'd get (a bunny and a puppy...and I'll sneak a kitten home) and where we would live (Washington D.C if my scripts get bought up).
I've grown in a way now. I still have insecurities but not as many as I did have last year. I was afraid I was going to lose Ashley in a stupid fight, but I've come to realise that it's not the case anymore. I continue to grow up now, with Ashley by my side. Something has changed. And for the better. There isn't a single day that goes by where I don't think of how I've changed.
Being 21 does some weird shit to you.
But it's come to the point where I just don't give a fuck anymore. I breathe in deeply and think (and say) I don't give a fuck. The guy can be weird with me all he wants. If he chooses not to understand me then fine. I can live with it. To be honest, he needs to open up his fucking eyes and learn to understand emotions. Perhaps the amount of alcohol he's intaken in the last few years has fucked him up allowing him not to feel.
I feel better today. Although it's not been a productive day - the illness has made me lazy. Yes that is a poor excuse, but do you blame me. Realised that tomorrow will be the first day I go back into uni after 10 days of not going...Has it been that long already?! Seems like months! But I'm on Easter break the week after and I'm gonna be doing my dissertation til it's dead and buried in the ground. And the two essays.
I'm sensing lots of late nights coming up now.
(1.07am edit)
Back in the day when me and Ashley were going out, we both kept diaries just to keep each other informed of what we were thinking and how we were feeling. Returning back to these tonight for a nostalgia trip, I've realised how much we've both grown up now. It was difficult for us, because, obviously, we lived so far away from each other and there were times were we couldn't talk (i.e I was getting drunk). Looking back, how times have changed ya know? We're both still here, still very much in love, but we're moving on in the relationship now. We talk about having kids together, living together, the pets we'd get (a bunny and a puppy...and I'll sneak a kitten home) and where we would live (Washington D.C if my scripts get bought up).
I've grown in a way now. I still have insecurities but not as many as I did have last year. I was afraid I was going to lose Ashley in a stupid fight, but I've come to realise that it's not the case anymore. I continue to grow up now, with Ashley by my side. Something has changed. And for the better. There isn't a single day that goes by where I don't think of how I've changed.
Being 21 does some weird shit to you.
posted by Tez @ Friday, March 31, 2006
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