The big fuck yous.

Sorry for the harsh tone but it's been too manic here over the last few weeks. Again, I'm gonna have to be using bullet point form because the depth of the reasons why I'm so fucking angry are really quite long, I don't think I have the patience for it. So here we go:

• My parents almost got a divorce. My dad was so hell bent on doing it, but apparently he "learned his lesson" and has vowed not to smoke or gamble. My opinion...Fuck him. He's done this before and why my mum has decided to forgive him is beyond me.
  
• I've now fallen out of with my sister because she also is a bitch.
• I've not spoken to my brother for over a month.
• I went to one of my best friend's house last week and noticed how well they get on. Yeah, our family definitely doesn't have that.
• We got a new cat, I call her Georgie, everybody else has their own names for her. She's partially deaf, which my parents find extrememly hard to believe.
• My script writing started up again, it's going ok so far. I've lost my inspiration and knack for it as I'm doing some transcribing work for a friend of a friend. Hard work, good pay.
  
• Went up to Sheffield about a month ago. Did I have a good time? Hmmm, not really. Everything was just a mess. I had a good chat with a few people, but in the end I had just had enough. This made me reconsider my journey to my graduation ceramony in November. I'm still going, family is not going...So I'll be alone there.
• Times I've thought about doing stuff to myself...Erm... I lost count but it was pretty low.
  
• Is therapy helping - yes.
  
• Is it time for escape?...Yeah near abouts.

Hope you're all well. I know it's been a long time since the last update. But I've neglected most things lately.

Out of routine

So here we are again. Anytime I'm back here I feel no urge to write anything in it. All of a sudden I'm brain dead and I'm unable to explain things that have happened here. So, should I go into bullet point mode, or explain things in full paragraphs?

I'll use the paragraphs.

So last week, I had a crazy, rather dull/down week. A friend of mine came back from America, so I went to see him on Monday night. He was moving down to London to continue his studies in Biochemistry at UCL, and he asked me to go help him. So, drinking beer at 2am, we had the idea of moving his stuff down at 4am! We go down, and we wake up his two other flatmates who were clearly not impressed with the amount of noise generated. Unfortunately, Tuesday is my therapy day, and I missed it thank to lack of sleep (even though I thought I could get up).

Saturday, I went up to see my old housemates and two of my best friends there. I was half and half about going up, because I just have some bad memories there, but most are good. But the bad overwhelmed the good and made it a slightly funny. I saw my good friend Lv, who I can actually class as one of my best friends, despite his lack of returning phone calls! It was really good to see him and catch up on a couple of missed months.

I also went back to my old house, it was still a shit tip like I still remember it. Once I got into the house, that was it - I felt kinda bad. Nothing had changed whatsoever, and perhaps me going up was to see if anything had changed. I was largely disappointed because I just had the thought of going up and my friends would go out of their way to see me throughout the day, because being in a club isn't the best way to catch up. And by that time, the people I most wanted to see didn't have much to say. I did have a good time catching up with people, but it had to get worse.

Upon leaving the club, I had lost everybody and it was pouring it down with rain. Txting a few people, none of them got back to me. So I thought, screw it and walked back to the house by myself. When I got back, no one was in. I deicded to head home at 3am and stop off at a service station for some food. It wasn't until 3.30am that I got a txt from one of my old housemates asking me where I was, and that they had just got home. I mean, what the fuck? Why could you not txt me back when I txt you? This just made me feel like shit, and I was glad to be out.

By the service station, I had some food and during the night I had bad stomach pains. The food had fucked my digestive system over and I got a fever during the night forcing me to kip in the car. It was horrible.

The whole week was just crap.

So, what have I learnt from last week?

Well, I'm considering not going to my graduation - my family shan't be there, my friends will be occupied with their families, and going out after doesn't so exciting afterall. We'll see though.

Peace out. ( I don't wanna write anymore).