How things change

It's funny how a smile on your face can change your day/week/month. After Ashley's visit this Christmas, I feel a lot better than I had anticipated. But you tend to notice things which will try and bring down your mood. For me, today it was two things: becoming someone I had been in the past (and not wanting it and straying away from it); and finding someone you had total respect for became a total asshole.

I'm beginning to realise that the times change a lot, and suddenly I'm having to readjust myself to it to acommodate it. I seem to be doing ok so far. As far as I'm concerned, 2007 is my year and I hope it turns out that way.

I really don't know what else to say. Just not being very interesting at this moment in time.

On a good note - progress seems to be slowly coming along with my new script. It's helping me by building a slightly stronger relationship with my family. I'll give you more details once I finalise all the synopsis/treatment stuff.

On another good note - wish me luck on this runner job I applied for.

Hope you're all well. Take care and keep on smiling.

The smile that never drops/The love that never ceases.

After two weeks of fun, Ashley left my house on the 8th of January. It was sad, but thanks to Heathrow's Terminal 3 check in desks it kinda softened the moment of her leaving. We both agreed that with each year of us flying back to our respective countries, it's becoming easier but the sadness still lies within. I cried when I got home, just as I stepped into my room - and it wasn't because of the mess left within my room (the masses of empty Twix wrappers or packaging stuff). It's like you can see where your loved one has walked around. And the smell. Don't even get me started on it - it's just such a wonderful feeling, like your whole body kinda tingles and a thousand memories come back. It's one of the better things the brain is good at doing - remembering the good times over the bad, because the bad things can be tossed away without any consideration.

My year is just beginning: I've been making plans to get a job/get out of the country/get the fuck out of Luton and just live in London for a week/planning my screenplay (which is coming along just dandy, I'm already feeling the pain of it). It should be an interesting year, and I'm just getting started for it.

And my birthday is around the corner - the big 22. As my friend told me in an email today - "it's only goes down hill from here" haha. But I can't wait for some reason, even though I don't feel or look like a 22 year old. Guess it's the whole pushing myself forward bit, to get my life started finally.

Hope you're all well.

Shit is always happening around my place

OK, it's time for a long overdue update.

So, we're now out of the Christmas Season and, to be honest, it just seemed like another ordinary day. But this year, there was a lot more happening. From Christmas Day to Boxing Day, my brother and sister (mother crying in tow) had a huge argument. Things were thrown, lips were fat, but the argument has eventually gotten solved. So ends a two year craporama of ignoring each other, like they were never brother and sister.

During these arguments, I had to hear from my dad how useless I was (although I'm bound to hear it at most times in my life, and I've begun to ignore it, it still hurts), and then listen to myself tell everybody (including mother) to shut the fuck up, and then carry on swearing about how I hate Christmas holidays because of this family and how we can never have an argument when we all get together as a family (it is true, I'm really out of the festive spirit and I'm happy with it.)

Ashley finally got here on the 26th, after leaving a friend's party with my brother to go pick her up. We were running late and I was panicking that she'd be at the airport not able to contact me in anyway. We got there just abouts after I did a lap of the terminal to get the blood flowing again. I was over the moon when I saw her, but was still angry about my brother making us almost late. It was well after midnight when we got home, and I had many gifts to open from her and her family - Guitar Hero 2, a Film Graduate's Guide to Finding a Job, a Natalie Dee tee, some PSP stuff (I'm picky about scratching shit), a penguin TY bear and miniture laptop (which has two character sing Christmas esque songs about how the laptop is breaking down).

We've been to a few places already but this is more like a relaxing Christmas for the both of us. I'm tired and and exhausted from all the bloody depression/family/job shite happening. Ashley is tired from her crazy ass semester (bearing in mind, she starts uni the day she leaves England). She got a 4.0GPA this semester, her first evaaaah! So I'm proud of her and she deserves this break. The 2nd sees us off to Stonehenge and Salisbury, and for the rest of the week just some random stuff in London.

I've had a lot of fun so far, but it's a shame that family stuff is always getting in my way and boiling my blood to the extend that I just wanna die.

My New Years Resolution? Maybe one or two things: This year will see Tez get his ass out there to find a job, and also to finish this heart felt script he has been planning in time for a script competition. This is it. This year will see my life begin (he smiles, in the hope that this will continue).

(Being a writer entitles me to third person talk) (Oh and to use brackets a lot).

Happy New Year guys and gals.