It's been a while Part II

Following on from my recent post, I find myself in a different state of mind...Well, partially!

I've had an up and down kind of year thus far. January was a good month; February hit me hard with work issues etc...In fact that was all the way to May, where I was having second thoughts about leaving work and heading off somewhere else. I have had good news, but good news where nothing comes of it. It's a complete mind fuck as I find that the fate of my future at work is in the hands of other people. I can see why Ashley says she needs to be in control of things, and I completely agree - it is difficult to plan your own future when things never come to fruition.

I've decided to take action and just ask where my future lies here, as I do like it here - the people I work with are what keep me going - but I feel like I'm a failure to myself and others, particularly my family. It's coming up to the 11 month mark and I'm still making teas and coffees. But being positive for the moment; I do have my foot in the door. This is it; I'll be laughing when I'm in and doing things more than making teas and coffee. But then again, I'll be shitting myself when the year mark approaches and I'm still nowhere to be seen.

It's been a while

Last publication - 17th October 2007 - holy crap that's a long time. Nearly a year!

Lots of things have been on mind as of late:

Work is becoming more of a chore than a career. Sure I'm where I wanna be but it seems that I'm doing the job, and doing the same job, because I'm good at it, not because it's an "entry position" and will lead me into other positions at the company. I'm finding the whole experience of being one of the longest serving runners to date quite embarrassing - people know who I am and what I'm capable of but they don't say anything (or not to my knowledge). It's starting to hurt me both mentally and physically. I'm suddenly losing my mind - I'm viewing things as numbers, yet can't even do simple division without turning to a calculator to do the math for me. I can't even do my Sudoku anymore because my brain isn't stimulated enough to do it. Either this is my fault for not doing any other activities outside of work, or I'm just so focused on getting my career started at work and it is all I can think about.

I think it's a little bit from column A and a little bit from column B.

If you're part of a running team, teamwork is absolutely necessary! That now seems to have gone out of the window, whereby now it seems like you're fending for yourself. OK, yes, the industry is a bitch to get into, and it's vicious, but does that mean teamwork should be avoiding completely? I'm getting tired of it now, the attitude of some people just grind my gears and it's clear they shouldn't be here.

So, I'm in a state of change now - do I stay or do I go? (Obviously providing I've found a new job!)

I'll post the other things that have been on my mind lately tomorrow evening.

Hope you're all well.